Free mustaches. Free babies.
OK, no free babies. You have to supply your own baby.
BUT WE WILL SEND U A FREE MUSTACHE!
Send us your address or PO box (email: email@example.com), and you will receive a free stache.
It will not be poisoned.
Then, email a photo of your kid 'stached out. Please include her/his first name + hometown.
Etch your child forever into the annals of hairstory.